Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize