Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
