i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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