and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
