I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
