Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
