You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
