it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
