come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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