No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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