that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
