It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
