Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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