im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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