So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
