Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
