There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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