he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
