you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
