I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
pray to the hookup gods
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
