rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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