Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
