He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
