Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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