Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
