I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
