that's an acceptable place to lick
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
how drunk are you?
Several
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
