Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize