idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
