I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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