Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
