just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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