i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I skipped work to stalk him.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
