We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
