is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I met the friendliest cop last night
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
