I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
