He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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