just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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