I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
