i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the day after is always just damage control
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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