he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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