It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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