Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dicks are not precious.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
