and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
