You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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