Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
