Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
