That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
