is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
