Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
tell me about the eggs
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
