im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
