we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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