PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
