sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize