grandma shit on top of the toilet
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
