ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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