dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
