Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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