Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
