I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
