he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
