At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
