first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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